So here i am again. i had a not very good day at work. but was nice to get in the kitchen when i finally did get home. i made a lovely chicken dinner which everyone complimented me on.
Wednesday 30 July 2008
Inspection time
Mistress txtd me from work. Put your cage on sweety She said.
So here i am again. i had a not very good day at work. but was nice to get in the kitchen when i finally did get home. i made a lovely chicken dinner which everyone complimented me on.
So here i am again. i had a not very good day at work. but was nice to get in the kitchen when i finally did get home. i made a lovely chicken dinner which everyone complimented me on.
Hypnosis
i have been interested in hypnosis for a few years. here's a couple of files i made that i use on myself quite often. They are designed for me but they may well work on the particularly suggestive, including females. Please do not complain if they affect you as you have been warned and if they make you want to be my slave then you will have to join the queue. Trance is nice but it can also be addictive.
Tuesday 29 July 2008
Withdrawal Symptoms ?
Mistress asked me last night, as we lay in bed after a wonderful lovemaking session, if i was having withdrawal symptoms from not having any of Her birth control pills for a number of days. i told Her i did not think i was and queried whether that was Her way of suggesting i start them again. She said it wasn't, and that She was just wondering if i had sneaked any without Her knowledge. i told Her i wouldn't do that but i would be glad to restart them if She desired. She said She knew i would be glad but She did not want the adverse effects that would result in my impotence. She said She enjoyed sex with me as long as i remained a sissy at all other times.
Today She phoned me and told me She had ordered some more vanderbilt perfume for me, which was very kind of Her.
Today She phoned me and told me She had ordered some more vanderbilt perfume for me, which was very kind of Her.
Monday 28 July 2008
Telling a Friend
The man i talk most to is Mr A. He's a work friend. We share time together when we smoke. Once an hour.
We have smoked weed together too. And he has taken me to a shisha bar with a lady collegue from work.
He is a nice gentle man. Of pakistani origin and a muslim. How would he see me if he knew what i was like, given that we can never tell a person's heart until they are confronted by their perceived bigotries?
Could i tell him i was a sissy? Possibly bi? Would that have been less cowardly than what i finally did say?
Today we were standing in the sun outside smoking the filtered cigarettes i had rolled for each of us. He has just come back from week working abroad and was delighting in telling me about it. Out of the blue i asked him if he knew my Wife was a professional dominatrix.
He coughed on some smoke, but not enough to appear impolite. I imagine he may have been shocked. I told him She dresses sissies. Spanks them etc. I said how She had taken to it. And was thinking of rented a flat. I told him about jean and Master S and the fetish scene we were slowly entering. I told him about next week's client. And the previous ones. But i never told him that i was Mistress' main sissy. That i had shaved legs and that my Wife and daughter are going to paint my toes on Tuesday. Or that i was wearing a girly bracelet under my shirt, and that i had half a days stubble on my legs. And strange feminine smell around me was actually me. I never told him those things. He seemed ok with it. I implored him not to dislike me or Mistress for this.
Does She ever tie you up? He asked as we went back to the office. Yes She does i told him.
I emailed Mistress to tell Her the news and She asked if he was still my friend and what did he say. I told Her i think things will be okay. I hope they are. He might be an angel and it helps to have a few of those on your side.
We have smoked weed together too. And he has taken me to a shisha bar with a lady collegue from work.
He is a nice gentle man. Of pakistani origin and a muslim. How would he see me if he knew what i was like, given that we can never tell a person's heart until they are confronted by their perceived bigotries?
Could i tell him i was a sissy? Possibly bi? Would that have been less cowardly than what i finally did say?
Today we were standing in the sun outside smoking the filtered cigarettes i had rolled for each of us. He has just come back from week working abroad and was delighting in telling me about it. Out of the blue i asked him if he knew my Wife was a professional dominatrix.
He coughed on some smoke, but not enough to appear impolite. I imagine he may have been shocked. I told him She dresses sissies. Spanks them etc. I said how She had taken to it. And was thinking of rented a flat. I told him about jean and Master S and the fetish scene we were slowly entering. I told him about next week's client. And the previous ones. But i never told him that i was Mistress' main sissy. That i had shaved legs and that my Wife and daughter are going to paint my toes on Tuesday. Or that i was wearing a girly bracelet under my shirt, and that i had half a days stubble on my legs. And strange feminine smell around me was actually me. I never told him those things. He seemed ok with it. I implored him not to dislike me or Mistress for this.
Does She ever tie you up? He asked as we went back to the office. Yes She does i told him.
I emailed Mistress to tell Her the news and She asked if he was still my friend and what did he say. I told Her i think things will be okay. I hope they are. He might be an angel and it helps to have a few of those on your side.
My idiot male brain
I lost my temper with Mistress.
In bed.
I was horny.
I tried to fumble and poke at Her like some adolescent spotty individual given license to grope his girlfriend for the first time. She lay there motionless whilst i got more frustrated at Her clamped thighs and unwelcoming flesh. Finally i gave in and turned over.
Mistress tried to hug me and i swore at Her. I gave Her a diatribe of insults. She left the bedroom.
I stewed in bed. Convinced i was right. Sex was my right. I determined to wear boxers tomorrow.
Sometime during the night She returned to bed.
This morning She awoke me and for the brief hour that we were alone we exchanged pleasantries.
As usual She had put out a vest and white cotton panties. As usual i put them on.
Something made me put the bracelet on too.
At work for about half hour ( i arrive quite early so i can finish early) and the phone rang.
I had been distraught. I was drafting Mistress an email. Letting Her know i was so sorry. Acting brutishly when i should have known so much better. i should have felt inside that i was behaving horribly towards Her. I wanted to tell Her i loved Her and She didn't deserve such treatment, ever.
It was Mistress on the phone. I hadn't answered Her calls on my mobile. Was I still speaking to Her?
I think i might have swooned if i was not sitting. I told Her. Told Her and poured out my heart and She understood. Like She always does. Because Mistress knows best.
In bed.
I was horny.
I tried to fumble and poke at Her like some adolescent spotty individual given license to grope his girlfriend for the first time. She lay there motionless whilst i got more frustrated at Her clamped thighs and unwelcoming flesh. Finally i gave in and turned over.
Mistress tried to hug me and i swore at Her. I gave Her a diatribe of insults. She left the bedroom.
I stewed in bed. Convinced i was right. Sex was my right. I determined to wear boxers tomorrow.
Sometime during the night She returned to bed.
This morning She awoke me and for the brief hour that we were alone we exchanged pleasantries.
As usual She had put out a vest and white cotton panties. As usual i put them on.
Something made me put the bracelet on too.
At work for about half hour ( i arrive quite early so i can finish early) and the phone rang.
I had been distraught. I was drafting Mistress an email. Letting Her know i was so sorry. Acting brutishly when i should have known so much better. i should have felt inside that i was behaving horribly towards Her. I wanted to tell Her i loved Her and She didn't deserve such treatment, ever.
It was Mistress on the phone. I hadn't answered Her calls on my mobile. Was I still speaking to Her?
I think i might have swooned if i was not sitting. I told Her. Told Her and poured out my heart and She understood. Like She always does. Because Mistress knows best.
Sunday 27 July 2008
The bracelet
It seems that each day i am being allowed to express further my softer side. Mistress likes me to wear Her silver bracelet at all times. One of our sons questioned me about it yesterday and Mistress and daughter shot him down by telling him that they were going to paint my toenails gold glitter on tuesday.
Jean left me a voicemail yesterday morning, saying could i ask Mistress to phone her ASAP. Mistress phoned her and jean asked if she could pick Mistress and me up for the BBB next month. Mistress said we would meet her there. Then jean said she had spoken to Master S. and he will be meeting us and escorting us which is very kind of him. jean also asked Mistress if She would be kind enough to take jean under Her wing. Mistress said She would have to think about it.
Wendy Ann left Mistress a message. She was terrified the first time she came to see Mistress and we thought that she would not want to come again. But wendy ann (gary) said in his text that he cannot wait to see us both again. yikes!
Mistress txtd him back and said She wasn't available until early September due the school holidays. I bet he will dying to be sissified by then.
Jean left me a voicemail yesterday morning, saying could i ask Mistress to phone her ASAP. Mistress phoned her and jean asked if she could pick Mistress and me up for the BBB next month. Mistress said we would meet her there. Then jean said she had spoken to Master S. and he will be meeting us and escorting us which is very kind of him. jean also asked Mistress if She would be kind enough to take jean under Her wing. Mistress said She would have to think about it.
Wendy Ann left Mistress a message. She was terrified the first time she came to see Mistress and we thought that she would not want to come again. But wendy ann (gary) said in his text that he cannot wait to see us both again. yikes!
Mistress txtd him back and said She wasn't available until early September due the school holidays. I bet he will dying to be sissified by then.
Saturday 26 July 2008
Toenails
I have painted my toenails once or twice. Mistress knew obviously. But tonight our daughter asked me why i was wearing mom's bracelet. i just said mom gave it me.
The Mistress said perhaps She and daughter should paint my toenails in that gold glitter polish they saw when shopping.
Omigod
The Mistress said perhaps She and daughter should paint my toenails in that gold glitter polish they saw when shopping.
Omigod
Friday 25 July 2008
Off the pill
Mistress has taken me off the pill for a while. She says there are other ways to feminize me initially. In a way i am glad because i do like having sexual intercourse with Her. One thing it means is that i cannot use the fact that i was taking Her pill as an excuse for wearing femme clothes etc. Now that the only things She is using to feminize me are Her own willpower and my desire to obey and please Her, i truly am a sissy male.
At work and out of my cage. Mistress is at lunch with Her friend. I wonder if i will be instructed to put the cb3000 on later today.
last night Mistress told me She would be asking our daughter to paint my toenails over the weekend sometime. Daughter is 13 and thinks the way i dress around the house is weird. not quite in a dress yet, but my shaved legs are always on show and i wear the sissiest of pink slippers with hearts on them.
At work and out of my cage. Mistress is at lunch with Her friend. I wonder if i will be instructed to put the cb3000 on later today.
last night Mistress told me She would be asking our daughter to paint my toenails over the weekend sometime. Daughter is 13 and thinks the way i dress around the house is weird. not quite in a dress yet, but my shaved legs are always on show and i wear the sissiest of pink slippers with hearts on them.
Thursday 24 July 2008
A voicemail
Jean phoned a couple of days ago. my phone again. To confirm that she would like to come to the BBB with us. Once again i advised her to speak to Mistress. Mistress thinks jean has a thing about me. No doubt jean will be dressed up at the bazaar. Mistress still insists thate She and i go vanilla. Since Monday i have had two more pills.
I spend a lot of time on yahoo chat again. Been off it for weeks to concentrate on training. That reminds me to do the ironing in a minute.
I spend a lot of time on yahoo chat again. Been off it for weeks to concentrate on training. That reminds me to do the ironing in a minute.
Monday 21 July 2008
All the way?
Funny thing. I am always looking for assurances from Mistress as to where She is going with this. She, somewhat ominously, said that she wasn't sure but maybe She did like the idea of shrivelling my bits and having me grow boobs and turning me fully femme. omigod !
On Saturday night i told Her i thought i might be bisexual. I told Her that when we watch porn movies it's not olny the females that turn me on. She said She knew.
Jean phoned on Friday asking about the next Brum Bazaar. I asked her to speak to Mistress about it. It seems we will be meeting jean at the next BBB (17th August) and will also be introduced to a Dom friend of jean's whom i shall call Master S. for now.
On Saturday night i told Her i thought i might be bisexual. I told Her that when we watch porn movies it's not olny the females that turn me on. She said She knew.
Jean phoned on Friday asking about the next Brum Bazaar. I asked her to speak to Mistress about it. It seems we will be meeting jean at the next BBB (17th August) and will also be introduced to a Dom friend of jean's whom i shall call Master S. for now.
Thursday 17 July 2008
Clients
Tuesday 1st July
Omigod he actually turned up! I was sent to the bedroom with the dog and told not to disturb them. I heard him come in. The dog barked.
Mistress came in to see me after half an hour. She said he was on his back with a dildo in his mouth in my best frillies and he has been told to think about how sissy he is.
Omigod she did it. She got a client.
For the next hour I strained to hear what was being said. I could here Mistress' stern voice, sometimes matter of fact, other times angry. I could here him saying yes Mistress. After the longest ever hour She once again came into the bedroom. I was to bring in drinks and show Her new sissy my cb3000 which I had been placed into that morning. I was not to speak.
The sissy was in the window which had the sun shining right into the room through it so I couldn't see his face clearly. He was in my pole dancing shoes. My blue dress. He said hi, I said hi. Mistress lifted them hem of my nightie to show the sissy how She controls me. He sounded impressed and excited and scared all at the same time.
I got them drinks and went back into the bedroom.
After half an hour during which the sissy seemed to get more and more excited I heard the goodbyes etc and he was gone. She came into the bedroom and showed me the £100.
Omigod he actually turned up! I was sent to the bedroom with the dog and told not to disturb them. I heard him come in. The dog barked.
Mistress came in to see me after half an hour. She said he was on his back with a dildo in his mouth in my best frillies and he has been told to think about how sissy he is.
Omigod she did it. She got a client.
For the next hour I strained to hear what was being said. I could here Mistress' stern voice, sometimes matter of fact, other times angry. I could here him saying yes Mistress. After the longest ever hour She once again came into the bedroom. I was to bring in drinks and show Her new sissy my cb3000 which I had been placed into that morning. I was not to speak.
The sissy was in the window which had the sun shining right into the room through it so I couldn't see his face clearly. He was in my pole dancing shoes. My blue dress. He said hi, I said hi. Mistress lifted them hem of my nightie to show the sissy how She controls me. He sounded impressed and excited and scared all at the same time.
I got them drinks and went back into the bedroom.
After half an hour during which the sissy seemed to get more and more excited I heard the goodbyes etc and he was gone. She came into the bedroom and showed me the £100.
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