I am in work today. 7am. Waiting for Mr A to arrive although he won't be here until after 8am, even though it's due to him that i am here this morning.
He's been very down just lately, i think he is being bullied by his employers into producing stuff for which he is not given enough time. he wanted me to help him out yesterday but i had too many prior comittments to get through, so i thought i would offer myself to him today.
When i told Mistress yesterday that i would be working with MrA She giggled and said, "mmmm you'll be able to share your ciggies with him then, he will like that, I shall have to get you a nice girly lighter to use when you're with him". I wonder what She was insinuating?
I tried on the new shoes that Mistress got me last night, they are very comfy with a 4" heel. She also bought me some makeup which i didn't have chance to use because i was so tired last night i just vegetated in front of the telly with Mistress. She had me locked in the cb3000 all evening and throughout the night, even though She had promised to let me out to play with me. I didn't really mind though because I love Her and She knows whats best for sissies.
I am wearing a t-shirt and jeans for work today and i notice that my boobs do show under my clothes now. I am quite self-conscious about them and wonder if My A will notice or if he does notice, whether he will say anything.
Hopefully the day will pass quickly because i am very tired and i will be going to sleep on the sofa when i get home - if i can get the dog off it.
When i touch my nipples they spring up really quickly and poke out noticeably through the material of my t-shirt. They also feel really nice and sensitive and there is some soft flesh under them which means when i tug at them they pull out quite far. I am now running a finger over them and squeezing my legs together because it feels yummy. I really should get on with some work. Legs crossed. Girl mode. Be femme. Be Rose.
Showing posts with label cb3000. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cb3000. Show all posts
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Monday, 8 September 2008
Jean
Jean phoned me a couple of times over the weekend. She left me messages asking how i was etc. I never got back to her. Something different with a drag queen. Something not quite feminine. Something very male.
I told Mistress that she'd phoned. I never even listened to all of her messages.
I cannot understand why she phones me instead of Mistress even though she has Mistress' number. It's as if she doesn't take me seriously.
I told Mr A about mother-in-laws outburst. He seemed genuinely concerned.
Sorry that this is so fragmented at the moment.
I never put my cb3000 on tonight. I don't feel like touching myself anyway. Mistress told me to put it on but i am either being a brat or just being realistic and wanting to be comfy. I won't do anything Mistress.
I was going to say something important but i forgot.
My team leader at work who is a real arsehole told me i looked nice today. Thats a bit weird.
I was flattered. The bastard. How dare he win me over so easy.
Even Mr A said i looked the bomb. I must have taken something and misheard.
I told Mistress that she'd phoned. I never even listened to all of her messages.
I cannot understand why she phones me instead of Mistress even though she has Mistress' number. It's as if she doesn't take me seriously.
I told Mr A about mother-in-laws outburst. He seemed genuinely concerned.
Sorry that this is so fragmented at the moment.
I never put my cb3000 on tonight. I don't feel like touching myself anyway. Mistress told me to put it on but i am either being a brat or just being realistic and wanting to be comfy. I won't do anything Mistress.
I was going to say something important but i forgot.
My team leader at work who is a real arsehole told me i looked nice today. Thats a bit weird.
I was flattered. The bastard. How dare he win me over so easy.
Even Mr A said i looked the bomb. I must have taken something and misheard.
Thursday, 4 September 2008
10 Day Chastity Challenge
This morning i am contemplating the prospect of ten days in chastity. I wonder if Mistress means me to wear the cb3000 to work also. This would be an advance in my training for sure.
Last night i spent caged. Mistress had me accompany Her to bed early. And told me we were going to sleep. No playing. We hugged and kissed and i pressed my cage into Her thigh, feeling myself grow and recognizing the tantalizing realization that i was not going to acheive release this time. Mistress told me She wanted me to take a pill. I duly did.
Somehow i found myself touching Her down there through Her panties. She told me to slap Her pussy through the panties. They were very snug fitting and the little three fingered slaps were certainly giving Her a certain amount of enjoyment. She found it amusing that i was tugging at the lock of my cage. Trying to get myself off. She sucked on my nipples then, which was even more infuriating and tortuous. They are so sensitive and i so wanted to orgasm.
Earlier last night i was on yahoo cam and i asked Mistress to demonstrate a caning for my viewers. That was nice.
My 10 day chastity starts this evening after i have bathed. God i wonder how frustrated and compliant i will be this time next week. Yummy.
Last night i spent caged. Mistress had me accompany Her to bed early. And told me we were going to sleep. No playing. We hugged and kissed and i pressed my cage into Her thigh, feeling myself grow and recognizing the tantalizing realization that i was not going to acheive release this time. Mistress told me She wanted me to take a pill. I duly did.
Somehow i found myself touching Her down there through Her panties. She told me to slap Her pussy through the panties. They were very snug fitting and the little three fingered slaps were certainly giving Her a certain amount of enjoyment. She found it amusing that i was tugging at the lock of my cage. Trying to get myself off. She sucked on my nipples then, which was even more infuriating and tortuous. They are so sensitive and i so wanted to orgasm.
Earlier last night i was on yahoo cam and i asked Mistress to demonstrate a caning for my viewers. That was nice.
My 10 day chastity starts this evening after i have bathed. God i wonder how frustrated and compliant i will be this time next week. Yummy.
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Put in my Place
I forgot to take my pill last night. Mistress forgot to give it me or i forgot to ask for it. One of the two. I should remind Mistress shortly.
On yahoo chat last night i wa sspeaking to a lady with whom i have chatted before. She doesn't speak much, but what She says holds a certain significance because before i had the opportunity to speak to her, a couple of years ago, i would speak to her husband. He is also a sissy. They have no children so she dresses him far more frequently than i could ever be allowed to. Anyway, i just happened to mention that Mistress was a little under the weather and this lady said that she hoped that i was pampering Mistress. I told her that i could do more to keep Mistress content. All the lady said was "of course you can" and i was dumbfounded. It was like an epiphany.
How can i so repeatedly forget my rightful place in the natural order. Somewhere near the bottom. How can i presume so readily that i have arrived. I thanked the lady for her kind and potent words. Hopefully i can act upon them.
I know the easy answer. The control mechansim. The cb3000. The sissymaker. Sissies should be in constant chastity to enable their emasculation. It's not rocket science. Once the sexual gratification of crossdressing can be released only under control, the pleasure of being feminine needs to be expressed in other ways. The sissy will become introspective. Less prone to bullish outbursts.
On yahoo chat last night i wa sspeaking to a lady with whom i have chatted before. She doesn't speak much, but what She says holds a certain significance because before i had the opportunity to speak to her, a couple of years ago, i would speak to her husband. He is also a sissy. They have no children so she dresses him far more frequently than i could ever be allowed to. Anyway, i just happened to mention that Mistress was a little under the weather and this lady said that she hoped that i was pampering Mistress. I told her that i could do more to keep Mistress content. All the lady said was "of course you can" and i was dumbfounded. It was like an epiphany.
How can i so repeatedly forget my rightful place in the natural order. Somewhere near the bottom. How can i presume so readily that i have arrived. I thanked the lady for her kind and potent words. Hopefully i can act upon them.
I know the easy answer. The control mechansim. The cb3000. The sissymaker. Sissies should be in constant chastity to enable their emasculation. It's not rocket science. Once the sexual gratification of crossdressing can be released only under control, the pleasure of being feminine needs to be expressed in other ways. The sissy will become introspective. Less prone to bullish outbursts.
Monday, 1 September 2008
Feminize me Please
The start of another working week and i am here bright and early, all smooth and pantied and smelling lovely. I was showing myself off again last night on my webcam. Chatting to some friends and politely thanking any strangers who saw fit to comment upon my appearance.
Mistress and i went to bed earlyish. But before i joined Her in bed i played Her a couple of bimbofication hypnosis files. Just to get Her started once again. She had on the most divine pair of orange frilly panties through which the soft plumpness of Her shaved pussy could be stroked. Indeed, we watched some adult movie clips of girls performing oral sex on huge penises whilst we played with each other. She barely held my cockette, just enough for me to feel Her touch as she stroked me tortuously towards my release. I remember begging to be allowed to put it inside Her but She would not allow it. I was to simply stroke Her through Her panties. After a while She pulled the front of Her panties out, inviting me to slip my fingers inside and tease her down there more effectively. I did so, becoming ever more agitated with Her delicate fingers on my cockette.
She climbed upon me as a i lay back and i thought She was going to guide me into Her. She told me She wanted to come on my belly. I was not put it in Her. Just play with Her and myself whilst i sucked Her breasts. I came with Her. Spent and sissified. Denied the chance the love Her like a man. Yet loving Her for doing the right thing.
This morning i mentioned to Her that it was my pill day today. I was hoping She would give me one before i set out for work but now it seems i will be waiting until this evening.
Yesterday i repainted my toes a deep red. I go barefoot about the house now so everybody sees my feet and neither of the boys has said anything about it. Although when my daughter saw them she commented that i could have made a better job of them. I teased her that they looked better than when she did them for me.
I hope the episode of me hating myself for being sissy isn't repeated for a considerable time now. I want to embrace it. The more aspects of my femininity that Mistress allows to be shown full time, the more it feels totally normal. I was standing outside earlier, smoking , and i wondered if i really would become a full time feminine person in the not too distant future. And i wondered if i would look back with fondness on the period of time between me looking for all the world male, and me becoming unmistakeably feminine. This sissy period is quite important i feel. It's a time when it may be up to me to sieze the moment. To make opportunities and not to eschew any potential changes. I must take every chance i am given to renounce my maleness. It's ok trying to be feminine. The tricky part is not being masculine.
I wore the cb3000 yesterday for a few hours. I was never going to wear that thing again, but I put it on to please Mistress. I need it. I would like a better chastity, perhaps a permanent one with a frenum piercing lock rather than a cockring. Something that could be worn for a whole year. Something that would completely emasculate me. I spoke to Mistress about a strap on last night because if she were to do me in that manner regularly and i was given to realise that that would be the way i had sex from now on She would find Herself in more control over me. Once again She said She wasn't ready for that, but She agreed that perhaps i should start wearing a butt plug regularly. I wait with eager excitement to see if that transpires.
Mistress and i went to bed earlyish. But before i joined Her in bed i played Her a couple of bimbofication hypnosis files. Just to get Her started once again. She had on the most divine pair of orange frilly panties through which the soft plumpness of Her shaved pussy could be stroked. Indeed, we watched some adult movie clips of girls performing oral sex on huge penises whilst we played with each other. She barely held my cockette, just enough for me to feel Her touch as she stroked me tortuously towards my release. I remember begging to be allowed to put it inside Her but She would not allow it. I was to simply stroke Her through Her panties. After a while She pulled the front of Her panties out, inviting me to slip my fingers inside and tease her down there more effectively. I did so, becoming ever more agitated with Her delicate fingers on my cockette.
She climbed upon me as a i lay back and i thought She was going to guide me into Her. She told me She wanted to come on my belly. I was not put it in Her. Just play with Her and myself whilst i sucked Her breasts. I came with Her. Spent and sissified. Denied the chance the love Her like a man. Yet loving Her for doing the right thing.
This morning i mentioned to Her that it was my pill day today. I was hoping She would give me one before i set out for work but now it seems i will be waiting until this evening.
Yesterday i repainted my toes a deep red. I go barefoot about the house now so everybody sees my feet and neither of the boys has said anything about it. Although when my daughter saw them she commented that i could have made a better job of them. I teased her that they looked better than when she did them for me.
I hope the episode of me hating myself for being sissy isn't repeated for a considerable time now. I want to embrace it. The more aspects of my femininity that Mistress allows to be shown full time, the more it feels totally normal. I was standing outside earlier, smoking , and i wondered if i really would become a full time feminine person in the not too distant future. And i wondered if i would look back with fondness on the period of time between me looking for all the world male, and me becoming unmistakeably feminine. This sissy period is quite important i feel. It's a time when it may be up to me to sieze the moment. To make opportunities and not to eschew any potential changes. I must take every chance i am given to renounce my maleness. It's ok trying to be feminine. The tricky part is not being masculine.
I wore the cb3000 yesterday for a few hours. I was never going to wear that thing again, but I put it on to please Mistress. I need it. I would like a better chastity, perhaps a permanent one with a frenum piercing lock rather than a cockring. Something that could be worn for a whole year. Something that would completely emasculate me. I spoke to Mistress about a strap on last night because if she were to do me in that manner regularly and i was given to realise that that would be the way i had sex from now on She would find Herself in more control over me. Once again She said She wasn't ready for that, but She agreed that perhaps i should start wearing a butt plug regularly. I wait with eager excitement to see if that transpires.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
Hot Wife
Mistress has agreed to a new course of hypnosis. Previously She responded after only one week of listening to files. I have suggested She get an ipod so that I can record some subliminals for Her over Her favourite sounds.
It's never easy coming up with a fresh set of truisims and suggestions for a new trance file - especially as i have not yet decided upon the nature of Her transformation. Her previous forays involved the bimbo file and the perfect wife file and She showed favourable response to both.
I will perhaps look at combining both of these "alters" into a Hot Wife file. this should keep Her fresh and pretty. Well dressed but hardworking and almost continuously thinking about sex. her priority will be Her family and Her sissy, keeping all happy , whilst also looking hot and attractive to both men and women.
I did once play a naughty trick on Mistress once and slipped a rule into one of my files whereby She would feel compelled to stare at mens crotches whenever the opportunity arose.
Meanwhile i will continue to develop my own personal files with the intention of making my ongoing sissifcation seem the most natural thing in the world. Which, of course, it is.
I noticed last night She is still wearing the CB3000 key around Her neck. We really need to find a local chastity slave.
It's never easy coming up with a fresh set of truisims and suggestions for a new trance file - especially as i have not yet decided upon the nature of Her transformation. Her previous forays involved the bimbo file and the perfect wife file and She showed favourable response to both.
I will perhaps look at combining both of these "alters" into a Hot Wife file. this should keep Her fresh and pretty. Well dressed but hardworking and almost continuously thinking about sex. her priority will be Her family and Her sissy, keeping all happy , whilst also looking hot and attractive to both men and women.
I did once play a naughty trick on Mistress once and slipped a rule into one of my files whereby She would feel compelled to stare at mens crotches whenever the opportunity arose.
Meanwhile i will continue to develop my own personal files with the intention of making my ongoing sissifcation seem the most natural thing in the world. Which, of course, it is.
I noticed last night She is still wearing the CB3000 key around Her neck. We really need to find a local chastity slave.
Friday, 22 August 2008
CB3000
I feel silly now. Mistress phoned me to see if i was ok because i had written here earlier that i was crying and She had read it and worried. I told Her i was ok and not to take any notice. She knows what i am like.
At lunchtime She texted me to tell me She was just starting work and would probably not be able to txt me during Her break because of it being at a weird time. I was relieved because it meant She would not be able to instruct me to wear the cb3000.
Then She texted me again to tell me to put it on after i had bathed this afternoon. Damn. I cannot disobey. Not this time. Not because the physical punishment will be too severe. No, not that. It's because if i don't do what She says then where do i stand? How can i expect to be indulged as a sissy if i cannot follow simple clear instructions from my Wife. And how much trouble will it be? Did i really want to touch myself so bad the other night that it was worth saying no to Her?
God. Just do what you're told sissy. Mistress knows best.
At lunchtime She texted me to tell me She was just starting work and would probably not be able to txt me during Her break because of it being at a weird time. I was relieved because it meant She would not be able to instruct me to wear the cb3000.
Then She texted me again to tell me to put it on after i had bathed this afternoon. Damn. I cannot disobey. Not this time. Not because the physical punishment will be too severe. No, not that. It's because if i don't do what She says then where do i stand? How can i expect to be indulged as a sissy if i cannot follow simple clear instructions from my Wife. And how much trouble will it be? Did i really want to touch myself so bad the other night that it was worth saying no to Her?
God. Just do what you're told sissy. Mistress knows best.
Mr. A
Mr. A was supposed to be coming for lunch with Mistress and me next Friday. We were going to go to Purnells but he thought it would be a bit too expensive. He would only think that because he insists on paying for everything all the time. I told him Mistress would be paying anyway. Then yesterday he said he would have to change the date to the following week because he had got some family stuff to attend to. I explained that next week was Mistress' week off and that it would have been easier for Her and he said he would try to change his plans.
I know his father has been ill, in and out of hospital recently so it's probably that that's making him hesitant about coming out with us. I hope it's not because he knows about Rose. He has seemed ok with me since i told him. No difference at all really. I wonder if i act different now. Whether he perceives me as different.
Perhaps it doesn't even register on his radar.
That would be so ironic. Me fretting like a teenager and he couldn't care less. Thankfully he has been as discreet as i could have wished for although one never knows what one's colleagues say when one is away.
Mistress kept me uncaged again last night. Chastity wasn't even mentioned. She made a few passing remarks about whether i had been good, but i rather think my distant mood put a barrier up between us. Sometimes when i am enveloped in that cloud i can see and feel the good vibes on the outside, but they fail to move me. And that's how i felt last night. Each question or remark, aside or comment would be greeted with monosyllabic response. In lighter, more contemplative moments i am so grateful Mistress even bothers to speak to me when i am down inside myself like that. But she keeps gently probing, stoically coaxing me back to a place where smiling is easier.
And now, this being Friday, i am determined to enjoy it. It's raining hard outside. I was first in the office again so it's coffee and blog and soon i will pop out for toast. It will have to be toast because i have had a few nice sandwiches this week, and some quite big meals and i lost lots of weight which would be so easy to put back on. So definately toast.
And i will try not to sing. People must me frightened to tell me. I must be so annoying sometimes. Singing all day.
I have this fear that Mistress will make me put the cb3000 this evening. I won't refuse again, it's for my own good. And i also think once it's on i am in for a very long weekend of contemplation, servitude, learning, devotion. I want to put some makeup on tonight. I will mention to Mistress later on this morning when i email Her. And i will ask Her to remind me to put some on once the household quietens down late evening. Now for some reason i have started crying. Not good at work to have tears welling up in one's eyes.
I know his father has been ill, in and out of hospital recently so it's probably that that's making him hesitant about coming out with us. I hope it's not because he knows about Rose. He has seemed ok with me since i told him. No difference at all really. I wonder if i act different now. Whether he perceives me as different.
Perhaps it doesn't even register on his radar.
That would be so ironic. Me fretting like a teenager and he couldn't care less. Thankfully he has been as discreet as i could have wished for although one never knows what one's colleagues say when one is away.
Mistress kept me uncaged again last night. Chastity wasn't even mentioned. She made a few passing remarks about whether i had been good, but i rather think my distant mood put a barrier up between us. Sometimes when i am enveloped in that cloud i can see and feel the good vibes on the outside, but they fail to move me. And that's how i felt last night. Each question or remark, aside or comment would be greeted with monosyllabic response. In lighter, more contemplative moments i am so grateful Mistress even bothers to speak to me when i am down inside myself like that. But she keeps gently probing, stoically coaxing me back to a place where smiling is easier.
And now, this being Friday, i am determined to enjoy it. It's raining hard outside. I was first in the office again so it's coffee and blog and soon i will pop out for toast. It will have to be toast because i have had a few nice sandwiches this week, and some quite big meals and i lost lots of weight which would be so easy to put back on. So definately toast.
And i will try not to sing. People must me frightened to tell me. I must be so annoying sometimes. Singing all day.
I have this fear that Mistress will make me put the cb3000 this evening. I won't refuse again, it's for my own good. And i also think once it's on i am in for a very long weekend of contemplation, servitude, learning, devotion. I want to put some makeup on tonight. I will mention to Mistress later on this morning when i email Her. And i will ask Her to remind me to put some on once the household quietens down late evening. Now for some reason i have started crying. Not good at work to have tears welling up in one's eyes.
Friday, 15 August 2008
Friday !
It's Friday !. Always a good reason to be cheerful. Had a nice evening yesterday chatting on yahoo. Not too many bad vibes, which makes a change. It's not easy being a sissy sometimes.
Mistress has txtd me to say that She has got me some flat leopard skin shoes for sunday. my pole dancing shoes are far too high to be worn practically and She was concerned that i might stand out. i think She may be in for a few surprises.
I told Her i was nervous and excited about Sunday. ( i must speak to jean very soon to let her know what i will be wearing).
I think buying shoes for Her sissy has made Mistress frisky as She has been txting me telling me how naughty i was last night, even thoug i wasn't, and how i deserved a spanking tonight. i am such a brat because i cannot wait to feel that cane.
So on Sunday i will be wearing pink and white skin tight t-shirt. black fishnet tights and denim shorts, with leopard skin flats. i will wear my bracelet and will probably be wearing my cb3000 too. i will such a proud sissy to be seen with Mistress J.
Mistress has txtd me to say that She has got me some flat leopard skin shoes for sunday. my pole dancing shoes are far too high to be worn practically and She was concerned that i might stand out. i think She may be in for a few surprises.
I told Her i was nervous and excited about Sunday. ( i must speak to jean very soon to let her know what i will be wearing).
I think buying shoes for Her sissy has made Mistress frisky as She has been txting me telling me how naughty i was last night, even thoug i wasn't, and how i deserved a spanking tonight. i am such a brat because i cannot wait to feel that cane.
So on Sunday i will be wearing pink and white skin tight t-shirt. black fishnet tights and denim shorts, with leopard skin flats. i will wear my bracelet and will probably be wearing my cb3000 too. i will such a proud sissy to be seen with Mistress J.
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Clues
I was wondering how Mr A would take the news if i told him i was being feminized. If i were to tell anyone at work it would be him. And that got me thinking about the clues that are evident to anyone who took the time to look. Maybe he knows already. Maybe all my collegues know but Mr A is too polite to mention.
Firstly there is the scent :~ Gloria Vanderbilt. I wear it every day together with a feminine deodorant and feminine talc.
Second there is my eyebrows :~ Plucked but not too thinly, definately noticeable if you look.
Third are my hands :~ Shaved smooth with nails that are growing for the first time ever.
Fourth is my demeanour :~ More subtle this one. But i believe the way i feel inside is changing the way that i interact with people.
I ask myself are these clues enough for someone to think "sissy alert!", but even if they are not, i still think that it's worth putting down where i am and how i look to others. Of course there are other aspects, like my body being smooth all over and my toenails being painted and the panties i wear but these are not visible to the general public.
Mistress txtd me at work to tell me She has bought me some new stockings and now i cannot wait to get home, especially as She has also spoken to the man She buys my cannabis from and he says he will have some tonight so i am looking forward to this evening very much. Also, because She txtd me i suppose i am to expect Her to txt me again at 5pm when She has Her break. In which case i will probably be instructed to put on my CB3000 for the evening. I will ensure i am bathed and shaved and perfumed and chastised for my wonderful Mistress.
Oh. Mistress txtd earlier with instructions to lock myself up. As soon as friend has been with weed She said. He is due in about 30mins. 6pm
Firstly there is the scent :~ Gloria Vanderbilt. I wear it every day together with a feminine deodorant and feminine talc.
Second there is my eyebrows :~ Plucked but not too thinly, definately noticeable if you look.
Third are my hands :~ Shaved smooth with nails that are growing for the first time ever.
Fourth is my demeanour :~ More subtle this one. But i believe the way i feel inside is changing the way that i interact with people.
I ask myself are these clues enough for someone to think "sissy alert!", but even if they are not, i still think that it's worth putting down where i am and how i look to others. Of course there are other aspects, like my body being smooth all over and my toenails being painted and the panties i wear but these are not visible to the general public.
Mistress txtd me at work to tell me She has bought me some new stockings and now i cannot wait to get home, especially as She has also spoken to the man She buys my cannabis from and he says he will have some tonight so i am looking forward to this evening very much. Also, because She txtd me i suppose i am to expect Her to txt me again at 5pm when She has Her break. In which case i will probably be instructed to put on my CB3000 for the evening. I will ensure i am bathed and shaved and perfumed and chastised for my wonderful Mistress.
Oh. Mistress txtd earlier with instructions to lock myself up. As soon as friend has been with weed She said. He is due in about 30mins. 6pm
Monday, 11 August 2008
Weekend
Another weekend came and went. Really nothing much to report. Nothing interesting anyway.
I spent too long on yahoo chat. Not enough time with Mistress, although She never complains. I was in chastity for the majority of the weekend and did not feel that it was a burden. My erection woke me up early on Saturday morning and it was extremely uncomfortable so i asked Mistress to release me so that i could sleep comfortably for another few hopurs which She was kind enough to do and then after waking up and showering i put the CB3000 back on. What a good sissy.
We did intend to drive to Birmingham to see if we could find parking for next Sunday's fetich market but time just flew by too quickly and so we watched a Carry On film instead. Yet to hear from jean about the event so we will play it by ear, although i would be very surprised if she does not contact either myself or Mistress before the weekend. It appears that i will be dressed normally for the event, as per Mistress' wish. I will of course be in panties and chastity.
I spent too long on yahoo chat. Not enough time with Mistress, although She never complains. I was in chastity for the majority of the weekend and did not feel that it was a burden. My erection woke me up early on Saturday morning and it was extremely uncomfortable so i asked Mistress to release me so that i could sleep comfortably for another few hopurs which She was kind enough to do and then after waking up and showering i put the CB3000 back on. What a good sissy.
We did intend to drive to Birmingham to see if we could find parking for next Sunday's fetich market but time just flew by too quickly and so we watched a Carry On film instead. Yet to hear from jean about the event so we will play it by ear, although i would be very surprised if she does not contact either myself or Mistress before the weekend. It appears that i will be dressed normally for the event, as per Mistress' wish. I will of course be in panties and chastity.
Friday, 8 August 2008
New Sissy
Mistress has an online sissy. i will call him martha. he says he is new to dressing up but he wants Mistress to teach him. Mistress told him he needed to buy panties, either from a shop or online. He was, since Monday, not allowed to masturbate. martha and me have chatted before so it came as a surprise to me when he showed an interest in wanting to be sissified. Last night martha showed Mistress his new panties. Red ones. Very sexy. i will ask him for a picture so i can post it here. martha also asked Mistress if he could masturbate. he was very adamant that he had not touched himself for a few days. Mistress gave him permission and then She went to bed leaving me to look at him masturbating in his new panties. he has strangely beautiful hands. He came and then turned his cam off. he doesn't say a lot but in his case actions definately spoke louder than words.
this morning Mistress and i were talking about martha and i was telling Her that he did cum in his new panties etc, i told Mistress that i would have a wank when i got home this afternoon. She gave me an icy glare and reminded me that i was due to be locked up for the whole weekend. i told Her would try very hard not to do that mannish thing and would gladly put the cb3000 on after i have bathed later today. i had a wicked vision of both me and martha being made to masturbate for Mistress after both being locked up for 1 week. And then both having to re-apply our chastities.
Mistress has read my latest few entries and says She doesn't think i am pathetic and She prefers me to be rose. She also asked me if i had been ok in bed last night because even though we made love i could not achieve climax and She says i was crying a little into my pillow as we went to sleep.
i told Mistress i was fine. Probably just tired. i am looking forward to being as feminine as i can be this weekend.
Mr. A is back in the office today which means we will be enjoying our smokes once more. i wonder if someone will say anything today about how girly i smell. In an almost empty office i leave the scent of vanderbilt perfume everywhere i go. Mr. A might choke to death in the lifts when we go downstairs. It's a subtle perfume that wears off after about 5-6 hrs but i may just have put alittle too much on this morning although Mistress never mentioned if i did.
During one of our smoke breaks Mr. A asked if Mistress' client turned up on Wednesday. i said he didn't and that it would probably be September before She started again. I mentioned to Mr. A about Mistress' new sissy martha though. How She had started a sissy off by getting him to buy his first panties. etc.
i wonder if he suspects that i am a sissy too.
this morning Mistress and i were talking about martha and i was telling Her that he did cum in his new panties etc, i told Mistress that i would have a wank when i got home this afternoon. She gave me an icy glare and reminded me that i was due to be locked up for the whole weekend. i told Her would try very hard not to do that mannish thing and would gladly put the cb3000 on after i have bathed later today. i had a wicked vision of both me and martha being made to masturbate for Mistress after both being locked up for 1 week. And then both having to re-apply our chastities.
Mistress has read my latest few entries and says She doesn't think i am pathetic and She prefers me to be rose. She also asked me if i had been ok in bed last night because even though we made love i could not achieve climax and She says i was crying a little into my pillow as we went to sleep.
i told Mistress i was fine. Probably just tired. i am looking forward to being as feminine as i can be this weekend.
Mr. A is back in the office today which means we will be enjoying our smokes once more. i wonder if someone will say anything today about how girly i smell. In an almost empty office i leave the scent of vanderbilt perfume everywhere i go. Mr. A might choke to death in the lifts when we go downstairs. It's a subtle perfume that wears off after about 5-6 hrs but i may just have put alittle too much on this morning although Mistress never mentioned if i did.
During one of our smoke breaks Mr. A asked if Mistress' client turned up on Wednesday. i said he didn't and that it would probably be September before She started again. I mentioned to Mr. A about Mistress' new sissy martha though. How She had started a sissy off by getting him to buy his first panties. etc.
i wonder if he suspects that i am a sissy too.
Thursday, 7 August 2008
CB3000
i smell so girlyfied. Sat here at work, very early. I slept in my cb3000 again last night. It seems Mistress would rather i didn't use my cockette just lately. I had an argument with the dutchman and have decided that he is too much like hard work. Haven't told Mistress yet but She will find out soon enough anyway when he continues to send Her whining emails.
Getting nervous about the Bazarre now. Not really sure that Mistress wants to go. She has not mentioned it for a fortnight except when we talking about getting me pierced or tattooed.
i just don't want to appear pushy so i have to find "sub space" and stay there for long periods. Accepting my place. Accepting my chastity and my increased femininity. Working at my desk, with my legs squeezed together like a horny secretary. Wishing i was still in chastity because i really want to touch myself. God i cannot wait to get home already and i have only been here one hour.
I am currently mulling over a new feminization hypnosis file and will ask Mistress if She would be kind enough to pose with me for a few relevant pics and vids. And also if She voice some new truisms. yummy.
Getting nervous about the Bazarre now. Not really sure that Mistress wants to go. She has not mentioned it for a fortnight except when we talking about getting me pierced or tattooed.
i just don't want to appear pushy so i have to find "sub space" and stay there for long periods. Accepting my place. Accepting my chastity and my increased femininity. Working at my desk, with my legs squeezed together like a horny secretary. Wishing i was still in chastity because i really want to touch myself. God i cannot wait to get home already and i have only been here one hour.
I am currently mulling over a new feminization hypnosis file and will ask Mistress if She would be kind enough to pose with me for a few relevant pics and vids. And also if She voice some new truisms. yummy.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Release
This sissy never expected to be released last night. As Mistress has agreed, i masturbated, albeit quickly and unfulfillingly, yesterday afternoon. I then showered and shaved and put on my cb3000. After doing my usual webcam slut thing until 11.30pm Mistress took over in the chatrooms and was talking to some of the people i know. Thankfully She didn't see fit to give them another caning demonstration because my backside is still bruised from the last one. (Thank You Mistress). After an hour or so She retired to bed and it was up to me to say the night nights.
I gave Mistress oral sex for a while until She told me to stop and then we cuddled. Then She asked me if i wanted to cum again. i didn't need much persusasion. Thisd time it was much better with Mistress in control. Soft delicate hands hardly touching, then stroking , squeezing, ecstacy. When She finally did let me cum i ejaculated in my face.
Mistress is going to visit Her mother today. It will be interesting to see whether Her mom mentions how i was dressed on Sunday, and what Mistress says if asked. Her mom seemed amused by my red top and shaved legs and perfume and pink slippers, but we had a nice afternoon chatting to her on sunday so whatever she thinks i do'nt think it would be malicious. Only time will tell of course.
Mistress is taking daughter there to spend the night because Mistress was supposed to have a client round on Wednesday morning. The sissy never phoned back though over the weekend so She made arrangements for no reason afterall. At least daughter is looking forward to time with her gran. This sissy was only accommodated because he said he would pay twice the rate because of short notice and how desparate he was. Mistress is not seeing anyone at the moment because of the school holidays, but in September She is resolved to restart Dominating sissies.
It's funny, but I see this new venture of Hers as very much Her thing. And i think it's so cool that She likes to Dominate men and pantify them.
Sometime soon i will write about the dutchman. i will relate how he is coming along now that he has taken the step of pleading to be sissified by Mistress. He even agreed to me having Mistress' executive power over him which means that, techinically, he is my sissy too. That's so sweet. i will try my very best to make him soft and femme and respectful and thoughtful and gentle and scented and lovely and sissified.
Incidentally, i mentioned to Mistress that i had been missing the pill and She told me i was ok as i am right now. Still more femme than i was. So i will not be taking them for the forseeable future. Thing is She is just as likely to pop one in my mouth when i don't expect it. She knows i would not hesitate to swallow.
I gave Mistress oral sex for a while until She told me to stop and then we cuddled. Then She asked me if i wanted to cum again. i didn't need much persusasion. Thisd time it was much better with Mistress in control. Soft delicate hands hardly touching, then stroking , squeezing, ecstacy. When She finally did let me cum i ejaculated in my face.
Mistress is going to visit Her mother today. It will be interesting to see whether Her mom mentions how i was dressed on Sunday, and what Mistress says if asked. Her mom seemed amused by my red top and shaved legs and perfume and pink slippers, but we had a nice afternoon chatting to her on sunday so whatever she thinks i do'nt think it would be malicious. Only time will tell of course.
Mistress is taking daughter there to spend the night because Mistress was supposed to have a client round on Wednesday morning. The sissy never phoned back though over the weekend so She made arrangements for no reason afterall. At least daughter is looking forward to time with her gran. This sissy was only accommodated because he said he would pay twice the rate because of short notice and how desparate he was. Mistress is not seeing anyone at the moment because of the school holidays, but in September She is resolved to restart Dominating sissies.
It's funny, but I see this new venture of Hers as very much Her thing. And i think it's so cool that She likes to Dominate men and pantify them.
Sometime soon i will write about the dutchman. i will relate how he is coming along now that he has taken the step of pleading to be sissified by Mistress. He even agreed to me having Mistress' executive power over him which means that, techinically, he is my sissy too. That's so sweet. i will try my very best to make him soft and femme and respectful and thoughtful and gentle and scented and lovely and sissified.
Incidentally, i mentioned to Mistress that i had been missing the pill and She told me i was ok as i am right now. Still more femme than i was. So i will not be taking them for the forseeable future. Thing is She is just as likely to pop one in my mouth when i don't expect it. She knows i would not hesitate to swallow.
Friday, 1 August 2008
Vanderbilt
i thought i might have had to cook dinner last night, but No1 son volunteered. It was ok, but he has not had enough practice with the italian sauce and Mistress said it was a little bland. we were still grateful, however, that he had taken the time.
I have been wearing my cage (under instruction from Mistress) when i get home from work for the past few days and have on most of those occasions been made to sleep in it without release. Last night, however, Mistress let me out so She could watch me play with myself. i was lucky enough to be asked, beforehand, to perform oral sex on Her although She was very in control and i was made to kiss Her panties for what seemed like ages before She would allow my tongue to venture any further. it was wonderful agony. She turned over and Her pantied bottom was presented for me to kiss. This worship of Her beautiful body must have taken an hour. i asked Her if i may be allowed out to play with myself and She allowed it. I lay on my back and She unlocked me and i took off the CB3000. I left the ring on because it means i can stay hard for up to 1 1/2 hrs if i need to. it took about two minutes for me to cum.
It was the thought seeing Mistress earlier in Her bra and panties, chatting on the webcam to nobody in particular. And the knowledge that Mistress will probably want me locked up all weekend.
I am really looking forward to having my toenails painted this weekend by Mistress and daughter.
Mistress says She hasn't heard from jean (her cd friend whom She thinks fancies me) or indeed Master Stephen (our escort for the BBB) and it's two weeks until we go there. Mistress hasn't mentioned much about it. I will just go with the flow.
Mistress txtd me at work today to tell me my Gloria Vanderbilt perfume had arrived. No i really cannot wait to get home, bath and shave and change into something nice. I haven't been told to cage myself when i get home, although Mistress does like to txt me at 5pm when She is on Her break and sometimes She likes to ensure that i am wearing it when i pick Her up from work at 7.30pm. so i guess i will wait and see. It's like the old days when i used to wear it for days on end and the strange thing is, i think it is right and proper. Sometimes i welcome the order to lock my cockette up. Of course it gets frustrating. But that is the idea.
I have been wearing my cage (under instruction from Mistress) when i get home from work for the past few days and have on most of those occasions been made to sleep in it without release. Last night, however, Mistress let me out so She could watch me play with myself. i was lucky enough to be asked, beforehand, to perform oral sex on Her although She was very in control and i was made to kiss Her panties for what seemed like ages before She would allow my tongue to venture any further. it was wonderful agony. She turned over and Her pantied bottom was presented for me to kiss. This worship of Her beautiful body must have taken an hour. i asked Her if i may be allowed out to play with myself and She allowed it. I lay on my back and She unlocked me and i took off the CB3000. I left the ring on because it means i can stay hard for up to 1 1/2 hrs if i need to. it took about two minutes for me to cum.
It was the thought seeing Mistress earlier in Her bra and panties, chatting on the webcam to nobody in particular. And the knowledge that Mistress will probably want me locked up all weekend.
I am really looking forward to having my toenails painted this weekend by Mistress and daughter.
Mistress says She hasn't heard from jean (her cd friend whom She thinks fancies me) or indeed Master Stephen (our escort for the BBB) and it's two weeks until we go there. Mistress hasn't mentioned much about it. I will just go with the flow.
Mistress txtd me at work today to tell me my Gloria Vanderbilt perfume had arrived. No i really cannot wait to get home, bath and shave and change into something nice. I haven't been told to cage myself when i get home, although Mistress does like to txt me at 5pm when She is on Her break and sometimes She likes to ensure that i am wearing it when i pick Her up from work at 7.30pm. so i guess i will wait and see. It's like the old days when i used to wear it for days on end and the strange thing is, i think it is right and proper. Sometimes i welcome the order to lock my cockette up. Of course it gets frustrating. But that is the idea.
Saturday, 26 July 2008
Friday, 25 July 2008
Off the pill
Mistress has taken me off the pill for a while. She says there are other ways to feminize me initially. In a way i am glad because i do like having sexual intercourse with Her. One thing it means is that i cannot use the fact that i was taking Her pill as an excuse for wearing femme clothes etc. Now that the only things She is using to feminize me are Her own willpower and my desire to obey and please Her, i truly am a sissy male.
At work and out of my cage. Mistress is at lunch with Her friend. I wonder if i will be instructed to put the cb3000 on later today.
last night Mistress told me She would be asking our daughter to paint my toenails over the weekend sometime. Daughter is 13 and thinks the way i dress around the house is weird. not quite in a dress yet, but my shaved legs are always on show and i wear the sissiest of pink slippers with hearts on them.
At work and out of my cage. Mistress is at lunch with Her friend. I wonder if i will be instructed to put the cb3000 on later today.
last night Mistress told me She would be asking our daughter to paint my toenails over the weekend sometime. Daughter is 13 and thinks the way i dress around the house is weird. not quite in a dress yet, but my shaved legs are always on show and i wear the sissiest of pink slippers with hearts on them.
Thursday, 17 July 2008
Clients
Tuesday 1st July
Omigod he actually turned up! I was sent to the bedroom with the dog and told not to disturb them. I heard him come in. The dog barked.
Mistress came in to see me after half an hour. She said he was on his back with a dildo in his mouth in my best frillies and he has been told to think about how sissy he is.
Omigod she did it. She got a client.
For the next hour I strained to hear what was being said. I could here Mistress' stern voice, sometimes matter of fact, other times angry. I could here him saying yes Mistress. After the longest ever hour She once again came into the bedroom. I was to bring in drinks and show Her new sissy my cb3000 which I had been placed into that morning. I was not to speak.
The sissy was in the window which had the sun shining right into the room through it so I couldn't see his face clearly. He was in my pole dancing shoes. My blue dress. He said hi, I said hi. Mistress lifted them hem of my nightie to show the sissy how She controls me. He sounded impressed and excited and scared all at the same time.
I got them drinks and went back into the bedroom.
After half an hour during which the sissy seemed to get more and more excited I heard the goodbyes etc and he was gone. She came into the bedroom and showed me the £100.
Omigod he actually turned up! I was sent to the bedroom with the dog and told not to disturb them. I heard him come in. The dog barked.
Mistress came in to see me after half an hour. She said he was on his back with a dildo in his mouth in my best frillies and he has been told to think about how sissy he is.
Omigod she did it. She got a client.
For the next hour I strained to hear what was being said. I could here Mistress' stern voice, sometimes matter of fact, other times angry. I could here him saying yes Mistress. After the longest ever hour She once again came into the bedroom. I was to bring in drinks and show Her new sissy my cb3000 which I had been placed into that morning. I was not to speak.
The sissy was in the window which had the sun shining right into the room through it so I couldn't see his face clearly. He was in my pole dancing shoes. My blue dress. He said hi, I said hi. Mistress lifted them hem of my nightie to show the sissy how She controls me. He sounded impressed and excited and scared all at the same time.
I got them drinks and went back into the bedroom.
After half an hour during which the sissy seemed to get more and more excited I heard the goodbyes etc and he was gone. She came into the bedroom and showed me the £100.
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