Hot Wife

Mistress has agreed to a new course of hypnosis. Previously She responded after only one week of listening to files. I have suggested She get an ipod so that I can record some subliminals for Her over Her favourite sounds.

It's never easy coming up with a fresh set of truisims and suggestions for a new trance file - especially as i have not yet decided upon the nature of Her transformation. Her previous forays involved the bimbo file and the perfect wife file and She showed favourable response to both.

I will perhaps look at combining both of these "alters" into a Hot Wife file. this should keep Her fresh and pretty. Well dressed but hardworking and almost continuously thinking about sex. her priority will be Her family and Her sissy, keeping all happy , whilst also looking hot and attractive to both men and women.

I did once play a naughty trick on Mistress once and slipped a rule into one of my files whereby She would feel compelled to stare at mens crotches whenever the opportunity arose.

Meanwhile i will continue to develop my own personal files with the intention of making my ongoing sissifcation seem the most natural thing in the world. Which, of course, it is.

I noticed last night She is still wearing the CB3000 key around Her neck. We really need to find a local chastity slave.

Calvin Klein Boxers

Last night I spent on cam on yahoo but not en femme. Mistress didn't mind. She was not being distant with me. She never got her spanking as agreed, but we did make love for a couple of hours - (she complained of being sore this morning). It still amazes me how long a good cock ring can make me last and last night i was priapic in the extreme.

This morning when i came to get dressed i noticed She had put some Calvin Klein boxers out for me. It felt really weird wearing them, and i mentioned to Mistress that She'd put them out and that i was wearing them. She said She didn't know what to do for the best so She put out boxers.

I told Her i would have preferred panties and I went and sorted myself some out. Then i undressed in front of Her and pulled on the panties. See through pink with white lace trim.

Mistress smiled and told me She really does prefer me in panties and i felt ashamed to have once again made myself look foolish by pretending that i was not a sissy. We spoke about the cage. I felt that maybe it was that control aspect that i may have been more rebelling against.

We agreed that we should find someone else to wear it and they will be mine, not Mistress's. I want my own sissy pet. I think i have a lot to offer the right trainee.

Before i left for work i could not resist standing in front of Mistress and pulling out my soft little cockette from within it's snug, silky confines. She popped it in Her mouth and swirled Her tongue around it a few times before pulling away with a soft slurp and telling me get my ass off to work.

And i have come to the conclusion that i should keep myself to myself when in chat if i am to be rose. Answer no more questions about myself or Mistress because it is here in this blog for all to see. I shall just be as vaccuous as is expected of someone like me.

CB3000

I feel silly now. Mistress phoned me to see if i was ok because i had written here earlier that i was crying and She had read it and worried. I told Her i was ok and not to take any notice. She knows what i am like.

At lunchtime She texted me to tell me She was just starting work and would probably not be able to txt me during Her break because of it being at a weird time. I was relieved because it meant She would not be able to instruct me to wear the cb3000.

Then She texted me again to tell me to put it on after i had bathed this afternoon. Damn. I cannot disobey. Not this time. Not because the physical punishment will be too severe. No, not that. It's because if i don't do what She says then where do i stand? How can i expect to be indulged as a sissy if i cannot follow simple clear instructions from my Wife. And how much trouble will it be? Did i really want to touch myself so bad the other night that it was worth saying no to Her?

God. Just do what you're told sissy. Mistress knows best.

Edge Play

Mistress let me get away with so much last night. Firstly She told me to wear my cage and i disobeyed Her. I usually have it on before i pick Her up from work in the early evening - especially if instructed to - but last night i decided to be free for the evening. Mistress took it light heartedly and promised me a caning before bed.

At bedtime i didn't get the caning but we made love for more than an hour and when Mistress woke up this morning She went back to bed, exhausted so i must have done something right.

On yahoo last night i was speaking to a gentleman who turned out to be a bit of a sissy and he told me he wanted me to dominate and punish him. Especially with the cane. I told him there was every possibility of that happening and, if he shows up in chat tonight, he can have my phone number. I did of courese check with Mistress first before confirming that i could be his sissy dom for an evening. It could turn out to be quite cool as i do have a sadistic streak which hardly ever gets let out.

Friday !

It's Friday !. Always a good reason to be cheerful. Had a nice evening yesterday chatting on yahoo. Not too many bad vibes, which makes a change. It's not easy being a sissy sometimes.

Mistress has txtd me to say that She has got me some flat leopard skin shoes for sunday. my pole dancing shoes are far too high to be worn practically and She was concerned that i might stand out. i think She may be in for a few surprises.

I told Her i was nervous and excited about Sunday. ( i must speak to jean very soon to let her know what i will be wearing).

I think buying shoes for Her sissy has made Mistress frisky as She has been txting me telling me how naughty i was last night, even thoug i wasn't, and how i deserved a spanking tonight. i am such a brat because i cannot wait to feel that cane.

So on Sunday i will be wearing pink and white skin tight t-shirt. black fishnet tights and denim shorts, with leopard skin flats. i will wear my bracelet and will probably be wearing my cb3000 too. i will such a proud sissy to be seen with Mistress J.

Sexy Mistress

Mistress was a bit frisky last night. She was chatting on cam on yahoo with Her sissy by Her side. She was wearing a lovely see through skimpy ruffled pink top through which Her skin was clearly visible. She looked absolutely gorgeous and was inundated with private messages from ladies and gents.

Martha, Her new online sissy was in the chatroom but seemed most reticent in his dialogue with Her. Hopefully he has the wherewithal to correspond via email with Her as that is Her preferred method of communication. It affords Her time in Her busy day to tend to sissies at Her own pace.

She was accepting cam invites and although some of them were just closeups of penises being played with there were one or two gentlemen who had the good manners to show their faces.

She seemed to enjoy the attention very much, although She was also tired after a very long day.

Only 5 days to go to the brum bazaar now and still no word from jean. Perhaps he feels that he was pushy last time in asking Mistress to take him under Her wing and is now a bit embarrassed to phone again. Although when we met he did not seem the shrinking violet type.

Mistress will be wearing a grey flannel pinafore dress with a white blouse and grey heels and She is still making Her mind up about what i will be wearing. We will, however, arrive at 12.30 so that we can put ourselves in the hands of the meeters and greeters at Nightingales should jean or Master Stephen not be available on the day. Mistress is very much looking forward to it.

Polish and The Pill

Mistress and i had a heart to heart. i was sad and She could see it. i told Her i missed taking the pill. i miss the way it made me feel. i tried to tell Her how i felt inside. So much more femme than i look. i told Her i was scared that She would still need a man to satisfy Her and how that would simply kill me, if She were to become involved with someone else. i asked Her if She was bisexual and She said no and i was, in a way, diappointed because at least then if i got more femme my loss of masculinity would not starve Her too much of what i am still convinced She will yearn for in years to come - sex with a man. And when i think of it like that i am shamed to think that i don't see myself as a mn now. i have sexual intercourse with Mistress once a month, sometimes twice and the male side of me feels inadequate. The female side of me wants to appease the male side of me by saying "ok let your Wife have Her hubby back and give Her a man in Her life again and stop being a sissy and be that man". And then it's just impossible. Hard to think about. Easier to comply.



Mistress said She would start me on two pills per week. In one months time.



I tried to explain how grateful i was. How nobody knew how i felt, even Her, but the words just , melted and i could feel myself going and next thing i was in Her arms and tears were welling up in my eyes.



I am so glad to have the pill to look forward to. i liked how it made me feel. Mistress says i am frustrated because i do not look like the person i feel inside anymore. She says i should be more considerate for other people and not wish to impose rose upon them. Mistress knows best because She is a woman.



Later this evening i paintedMistress and daughters toenails. It was a lovely girly night in watching the St Trinians movie. The boys had gone out drinking or whatever it is they do. After i had done their toes daughter asked if i still wanted mine doing. I did not need to be asked twice.

Mistress later told me to enjoy it, but not to rush daughter or to scare her with rose. i am still daddy to her.

New Sissy

Mistress has an online sissy. i will call him martha. he says he is new to dressing up but he wants Mistress to teach him. Mistress told him he needed to buy panties, either from a shop or online. He was, since Monday, not allowed to masturbate. martha and me have chatted before so it came as a surprise to me when he showed an interest in wanting to be sissified. Last night martha showed Mistress his new panties. Red ones. Very sexy. i will ask him for a picture so i can post it here. martha also asked Mistress if he could masturbate. he was very adamant that he had not touched himself for a few days. Mistress gave him permission and then She went to bed leaving me to look at him masturbating in his new panties. he has strangely beautiful hands. He came and then turned his cam off. he doesn't say a lot but in his case actions definately spoke louder than words.
this morning Mistress and i were talking about martha and i was telling Her that he did cum in his new panties etc, i told Mistress that i would have a wank when i got home this afternoon. She gave me an icy glare and reminded me that i was due to be locked up for the whole weekend. i told Her would try very hard not to do that mannish thing and would gladly put the cb3000 on after i have bathed later today. i had a wicked vision of both me and martha being made to masturbate for Mistress after both being locked up for 1 week. And then both having to re-apply our chastities.
Mistress has read my latest few entries and says She doesn't think i am pathetic and She prefers me to be rose. She also asked me if i had been ok in bed last night because even though we made love i could not achieve climax and She says i was crying a little into my pillow as we went to sleep.
i told Mistress i was fine. Probably just tired. i am looking forward to being as feminine as i can be this weekend.
Mr. A is back in the office today which means we will be enjoying our smokes once more. i wonder if someone will say anything today about how girly i smell. In an almost empty office i leave the scent of vanderbilt perfume everywhere i go. Mr. A might choke to death in the lifts when we go downstairs. It's a subtle perfume that wears off after about 5-6 hrs but i may just have put alittle too much on this morning although Mistress never mentioned if i did.
During one of our smoke breaks Mr. A asked if Mistress' client turned up on Wednesday. i said he didn't and that it would probably be September before She started again. I mentioned to Mr. A about Mistress' new sissy martha though. How She had started a sissy off by getting him to buy his first panties. etc.
i wonder if he suspects that i am a sissy too.

Withdrawal Symptoms ?

Mistress asked me last night, as we lay in bed after a wonderful lovemaking session, if i was having withdrawal symptoms from not having any of Her birth control pills for a number of days. i told Her i did not think i was and queried whether that was Her way of suggesting i start them again. She said it wasn't, and that She was just wondering if i had sneaked any without Her knowledge. i told Her i wouldn't do that but i would be glad to restart them if She desired. She said She knew i would be glad but She did not want the adverse effects that would result in my impotence. She said She enjoyed sex with me as long as i remained a sissy at all other times.

Today She phoned me and told me She had ordered some more vanderbilt perfume for me, which was very kind of Her.

Telling a Friend

The man i talk most to is Mr A. He's a work friend. We share time together when we smoke. Once an hour.
We have smoked weed together too. And he has taken me to a shisha bar with a lady collegue from work.
He is a nice gentle man. Of pakistani origin and a muslim. How would he see me if he knew what i was like, given that we can never tell a person's heart until they are confronted by their perceived bigotries?
Could i tell him i was a sissy? Possibly bi? Would that have been less cowardly than what i finally did say?

Today we were standing in the sun outside smoking the filtered cigarettes i had rolled for each of us. He has just come back from week working abroad and was delighting in telling me about it. Out of the blue i asked him if he knew my Wife was a professional dominatrix.

He coughed on some smoke, but not enough to appear impolite. I imagine he may have been shocked. I told him She dresses sissies. Spanks them etc. I said how She had taken to it. And was thinking of rented a flat. I told him about jean and Master S and the fetish scene we were slowly entering. I told him about next week's client. And the previous ones. But i never told him that i was Mistress' main sissy. That i had shaved legs and that my Wife and daughter are going to paint my toes on Tuesday. Or that i was wearing a girly bracelet under my shirt, and that i had half a days stubble on my legs. And strange feminine smell around me was actually me. I never told him those things. He seemed ok with it. I implored him not to dislike me or Mistress for this.

Does She ever tie you up? He asked as we went back to the office. Yes She does i told him.

I emailed Mistress to tell Her the news and She asked if he was still my friend and what did he say. I told Her i think things will be okay. I hope they are. He might be an angel and it helps to have a few of those on your side.

Clients

Tuesday 1st July

Omigod he actually turned up! I was sent to the bedroom with the dog and told not to disturb them. I heard him come in. The dog barked.

Mistress came in to see me after half an hour. She said he was on his back with a dildo in his mouth in my best frillies and he has been told to think about how sissy he is.
Omigod she did it. She got a client.
For the next hour I strained to hear what was being said. I could here Mistress' stern voice, sometimes matter of fact, other times angry. I could here him saying yes Mistress. After the longest ever hour She once again came into the bedroom. I was to bring in drinks and show Her new sissy my cb3000 which I had been placed into that morning. I was not to speak.

The sissy was in the window which had the sun shining right into the room through it so I couldn't see his face clearly. He was in my pole dancing shoes. My blue dress. He said hi, I said hi. Mistress lifted them hem of my nightie to show the sissy how She controls me. He sounded impressed and excited and scared all at the same time.

I got them drinks and went back into the bedroom.

After half an hour during which the sissy seemed to get more and more excited I heard the goodbyes etc and he was gone. She came into the bedroom and showed me the £100.