Saturday, 6 September 2008

Belle of the Ball

Last night we went to a party. Mistress, daughter and I. It was a 21st party for Mistress' cousin and a lot of Her side of the family were there. Mistress had bought me a pink shirt for the occassion. I have never owned a pink shirt before.
We arrived earlyish and found seats on a table with Mother-in-Law and Mistress' brother and his wife.

Later into the evening the live music was loud, the guests had filled the hall and they all looked superb. Trainee doctors, all black tie and ball gowns. The drinks were flowing and Mother-in-Law was on red wine.

For some reason she began to tell everyone that would listen of what i was wearing when she came round the house the other weekend. Of the femme top and shaved legs and painted toes etc... She was in hysterics and i was giggling with her. She kept telling them and then apologizing to me, and laughing and telling them again. Mistress told sister-in-law that daughter likes to practice painting my toes and sister-in-law said she would like to have seen that. But Mother-in-Law kept on and on about it and Mistress was not amused. Mother in law commented that i had the right colour shirt on too and then collapsed in another fit of giggles. Later in the evening Mother in law stood behind me as i sat chatting to Mistress and Her brother and his wife and she stroked my freshly shaven head and told me it was nice.

When we got home, and after everyone was in bed, Mistress and i spoke about what Her mother had said. Mistress was very angry with Her mother for appearing almost callous in what she had said. I told Mistress that what she had said didn't bother me, but i was worried that Her mother had made that outburst because perhaps i had affected her more than she had let on when she saw me slightly femmed. For some reason i got really upset at that point and the next hour was spent sobbing and apologizing to Mistress for sobbing, and for being an embarrassment to her, and crying more and hoping that mother in law was ok and then crying because i felt guilty about being the cause of it . Mistress told me it was ok to cry. She gave me a pill and made me show to check i had swallowed it. She said maybe i should just wear t-shirt and jeans next time mother in law comes round and that just got me more upset because She was saying that Rose is not acceptable and i realised that yes, i am a sissy and i should not impose Rose on anyone and i am so sorry that mother in law felt the need to only speak about it when she was drunk.

Now , this saturday afternoon, the crying seems alien to me. But last night it was just floods of tears, i cannot remember crying so hard before. Not since i was little. And i have asked Mistress to see if Her mother wants to come round for dinner tomorrow. She has tried contacting her but has yet to ask.

I will just be good now, hopefully. My shoulders ache from sobbing last night and i must seem to be real prima donna to Mistress so i have taken myself out of Her way for a couple of hours so She and daughter can watch what they like on the telly because outside it is awful, we are having a month of rain in one day and we're waiting for the news reports to start saying that the rivers are bursting their banks again. It will be terrible if the same thing happens this summer as did last.

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