Sunday, 21 September 2008


Mistress can judge me. Nobody else can judge me. So why when i get close to people do they think they can judge me? Tell me what to do? What to say? They are just part of the herd. Or flock. Flock is better. They have my ear and all they want to do is talk about themselves. And when i don't live up to their expectations they are put out by it. How sad that they feel they have to be part of me. How sad that instead of watching they want to participate. I never ask for help. I never ask for advice. I never ask for interference, and yet people seem to think they are worthy of offering it. what makes them better then me?. What makes them know what i need?.

Please do not judge me. I have seen so many fools who think they can. Opinions don't count. The herd is just the herd. You may even think that you are special. You might be. That does not matter. Only Mistress and me matter. Take me for what i am. Distant. Detached. Something that does not care about you. Bleating is background noise. Your needs are superfluous to my life. I am not here because i need you. I am not a shepherd nor a sheep. You will not get close. I hate that you think you know me. You will not know me. I am not for sharing.

You tell me how much you are struggling. You tell me how much in your life is wrong. You tell me how things never work out. What a hero you are. How resilient you are. How nobody listens. Nobody knows. Like i care. Like i am anything other than a man in lingerie you think you know.

To even believe in anything other than the distance that there will always be is fantasy. To judge me is your game but one not i play. To judge me makes me sad for you. You even ignore me because i have upset you. Yet i don't even care for you. A conversation does not equate to a rapport.

I despair at the pettiness of us all.

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