Monday, 1 September 2008

Feminize me Please

The start of another working week and i am here bright and early, all smooth and pantied and smelling lovely. I was showing myself off again last night on my webcam. Chatting to some friends and politely thanking any strangers who saw fit to comment upon my appearance.

Mistress and i went to bed earlyish. But before i joined Her in bed i played Her a couple of bimbofication hypnosis files. Just to get Her started once again. She had on the most divine pair of orange frilly panties through which the soft plumpness of Her shaved pussy could be stroked. Indeed, we watched some adult movie clips of girls performing oral sex on huge penises whilst we played with each other. She barely held my cockette, just enough for me to feel Her touch as she stroked me tortuously towards my release. I remember begging to be allowed to put it inside Her but She would not allow it. I was to simply stroke Her through Her panties. After a while She pulled the front of Her panties out, inviting me to slip my fingers inside and tease her down there more effectively. I did so, becoming ever more agitated with Her delicate fingers on my cockette.

She climbed upon me as a i lay back and i thought She was going to guide me into Her. She told me She wanted to come on my belly. I was not put it in Her. Just play with Her and myself whilst i sucked Her breasts. I came with Her. Spent and sissified. Denied the chance the love Her like a man. Yet loving Her for doing the right thing.

This morning i mentioned to Her that it was my pill day today. I was hoping She would give me one before i set out for work but now it seems i will be waiting until this evening.

Yesterday i repainted my toes a deep red. I go barefoot about the house now so everybody sees my feet and neither of the boys has said anything about it. Although when my daughter saw them she commented that i could have made a better job of them. I teased her that they looked better than when she did them for me.

I hope the episode of me hating myself for being sissy isn't repeated for a considerable time now. I want to embrace it. The more aspects of my femininity that Mistress allows to be shown full time, the more it feels totally normal. I was standing outside earlier, smoking , and i wondered if i really would become a full time feminine person in the not too distant future. And i wondered if i would look back with fondness on the period of time between me looking for all the world male, and me becoming unmistakeably feminine. This sissy period is quite important i feel. It's a time when it may be up to me to sieze the moment. To make opportunities and not to eschew any potential changes. I must take every chance i am given to renounce my maleness. It's ok trying to be feminine. The tricky part is not being masculine.

I wore the cb3000 yesterday for a few hours. I was never going to wear that thing again, but I put it on to please Mistress. I need it. I would like a better chastity, perhaps a permanent one with a frenum piercing lock rather than a cockring. Something that could be worn for a whole year. Something that would completely emasculate me. I spoke to Mistress about a strap on last night because if she were to do me in that manner regularly and i was given to realise that that would be the way i had sex from now on She would find Herself in more control over me. Once again She said She wasn't ready for that, but She agreed that perhaps i should start wearing a butt plug regularly. I wait with eager excitement to see if that transpires.

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