Friday, 17 October 2008

Dinner is on but the chastity cage isn't. Mistress, i put it on and didn't lock it and i only had it on for 5 minutes and it got uncomfortable. I only put it on because i was in the bath shaving my legs and thinking how long it had been since i had been locked in. I have forgotten how it felt. For 5 mins this afternoon it was scary and uncomfortable. Perhaps it's because i had the fishnet tights over the top of it. I'm still wearing them now Mistress, as i wait around until i pick you up from work.

Have my boobs shrunk? You haven't mentioned hormones and i don't want to keep asking but if you are not then i would like to hear it. Did the pill make me feel different, or was it the act of taking of it that made me think i felt different? I don't feel the same now. Not as soft inside and i liked that feeling.

I felt self conscious at work today. I usually don't. But today i was acutely aware of the perfume i was wearing. It embarrassed me knowing that people could smell me in the lift and when they leant over to me to chat. And it wasn't that i liked the embarrassment in some fetishistic sort of way because i didn't. I felt uncomfortable all day, like i wanted to be more masculine. Even now i am wearing male clothes over my panties and tights and only briefly, earlier, when i had the cage on did i put something feminine on. Will i later?

I hope you enjoyed my serenade last night, Mistress. That really was like old times. 25 years ago in my room at my Mom's house, playing guitar and writing songs and making toast on that old enamel three bar fire. I used to put my cannabis resin on it to soften it. Do you remember i wore your french knickers once when we cuddled on the bed? You asked me if i was i transvestite? I said no.

I remember you throwing away your engagement ring - twice. I remember that really rainy drive to wales. I love you so much. I remember you walking into the music room and looking at me and seeing you for the first time since we were at primary school . And then i remember the same night seeing you in the coffee bar and you seemed to want me to talk to you. And i did. And i think that was the most important night of my life.

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